some thoughts on a gloomy day
writing in a relaxed and conversational manner with no editing
sorry for any incorrect grammar mistakes


Its the end of week 6 in my second semester at rmit and I am amazed how much things that I've learned and gained throughout 6 weeks of the course. The biggest impact came from my two beloved teachers, who both have a little bit old -fashioned way of thinking. However, what they said and taught me have gradually changed me, without me even realising. I used to think that I could never get along well with them, and now here I am starting to understand the whole idea behind all of this, and thats when I started seeing changes in my perspective towards every aspects in life.

I ve learned to embrace eccentricity and odds, uniqueness and individuality. I’ve learned to value cultures and traditions, and be aware of the detrimental effects of mass production. Its sad that now I realize how stupid I was to care so much about my appearance, that I must look like a "typical model" in order for me to be pretty and confident. Its sad that girls nowadays they are being so manipulated by the makeup and fashion industry ( including me) telling them how to look like something to be pretty rather than telling them to define beauty on their own. Its so sad that girls now are wearing almost the same types of clothes and makeup of the model they see on instagram posts, and today a friend of mine said that " this girl's beauty makes all of us feel kinda shamed" ! No, if what all of the models could do is just to make you feel worse about yourself, then they should be banned forever I guess.

Now whenever I meet my girlfriends they all focus on praising one girl's beauty and they say that its a way of appreciating beauty. Not really! Appreciating beauty is knowing that someone is beautiful and also knowing that you, yourself are fucking beautiful, too. Stop devalueing yourself. Its so non-sense that everyone of us wants to achieve beauty standards set by celebrities and marketers around the world and sacrifice so manythings in order to be sth kinda like that. And I think its time we realized all of this means nothing.

Now whenever I see a girl who is confident and unique in their own way ( not neccessarily overdone to be called " ngầu" or "chất") , I appreciate her existence on this Earth really much becausemuch at least there's still someone out there who believes in themselves rather than all the fakeness of this industry. Theres a girl who is my closed friend who occasionally compliments me "chất" and I hate to say this to you girlpleasant “I am sorry but I hate that world so much.” What is "chất"? Posing with a bitchy face and wearing the same clothes that a famous person had worn isn't chất at all, girl! Being yourself is "chất"! Gosh I cant stop repeting this but seriously I'm so sick of seeing young people copying each other and wanting to be each other rather than themselves, such like myself only a few weeks ago.

Its kinda funny to me while everyone is obsessed with starbucks and shopping malls, my lecturers keep reminding me that they are "trash" :) yes, trash! I used to think holding a cup of starbucks is fancy, and now I know how stupid I was to be tooo OBSESSED with the label of my drink rather than the quality and the taste of the drink itself. Do you come to Starbucks because you actually love the drinks there, or is it the experience of sitting in a worldly famous, Non Vietnamese coffeeshop and holding their signature cups that makes you feel more valued and boosts your self-esteem??

My teacher said that he came to Vietnam because he saw the potential here, the eccentricity remain in this city which is dying to become the second singapore ( so sad) rather than the modern Ho Chi Minh city with the old name "saigon". He said that our mission, the vietnamese young generation is to realize and preserve what is unique and identical here, before it transforms into a city full of sameness and shopping malls with international brands that exist almost anywhere in the world. But first, like me, I think you guys should start little by little, first by realizing who you really are and appreciating your uniqueness and building your true identity rather than others.

Beauty is being yourself, unique, and confident.

I ve heard it so many times in my life, but not until now that I start to realize what it really means and why it really matters.

I hope you will soon, too.

April 1st, 2017.